Confession

Maybe I’m just weak - a weak, pathetic excuse for a Christian. That wouldn’t surprise me one bit, I know my limitations. I know how unworthy and flawed I am. If everyone else knew what I know about myself....

-_-

Well, you may find out something about me in this post. I pray you don't hate me for it.

Confession: The hardest part (for me) about this whole COVID-19 thing has been the lack of consistent church attendance.

It’s not the sermons - I have plenty of access to sermons. I know I can download them, watch on YouTube or whatever. I even have multiple CDs of preaching from Camp Meetings in the past.

It’s not Sunday School - believe me, as a Sunday School teacher, while part of me misses teaching, there’s the flesh that is rather enjoying not having to get a lesson together every week. (See why I say I’m a pathetic?)

It’s not the music - between the internet, radio, and the 200+ CDs I own, music is plentiful. I also am capable of playing both the guitar and dulcimer (not simultaneously) so I can participate in making music at home.

No, it’s not the “churchy” things you can upload and share via the internet.

It’s the fellowship, the community of Christians, that I need.

Yes, I am an introvert. I have, overall, LOVED the extra time at home.

But we need community.

I need community.

I need encouragement. I need accountability. I need to know that I’m not alone. I need to know someone cares. I need personal encounters that actually matter.

I don’t do small talk.

I don’t open up easily.

It takes a LONG time for me to confide in anyone.

When I spend time away from people, I close back up. I’ve tried not to, but I’ve not figured out how to be different. This is harmful, I know, but I don’t have the strength to change.

I also have trouble processing the evil in this world by myself. I see/hear news, but without conversation it’s easy to feel like it isn’t real. Without Christian conversation, it’s easy to get the wrong attitude about it.

And, maybe I’m strange, but if the conversations don’t happen face-to-face, in person, then they don’t feel quite genuine to me. Zoom, Skype, all these things are useful and helpful, but they also allow me to hide. In person conversations... well, I can still hide, but when people start to get to know me they begin to see through my barriers. It’s uncomfortable, but I also recognize it is needful.

I feel like I’ve been separated from my flock with no way to go back home.

Probably because I have.

I feel like I'm wandering, slogging through a miry bog.

Personally, this is why I see the church family, a community of Christians, as essential.

‘Cause I doubt I’m the only one.

Hebrews 10: 23-25

“23 Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)
24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”

Quarantined Homeschooling?

I see a BUNCH of posts about how public school families are dealing with being home - and advice for them (relax and reach out to your homeschooling friends, we'd LOVE to help!)

I read a lot about how homeschool families are dealing with the change (video lessons and such)

Then there's us. Interestingly, not much has changed for us, even with all the restrictions. 
Our CC group is not meeting, but we were already scheduled for spring break this first week.
Church was cancelled Wednesday night - waiting to hear about Sunday. I personally found that strange considering we don't hit 50 people on a "good" Sunday, there's usually only about 12-15 there on Wednesday nights.

But really, otherwise we're running a normal schedule here. My husband is not off work/working from home. We don't do a lot of "extras", so when things shut down we barely notice.
~ Except the grocery. I ran out of some basic and went to the store... wow y'all, can we chill? All I have to say is I'm glad I can make my own bread.

Back to the point....

Is my family the only one running basically the same schedule as they did before?

We don't "have more family time" or "use social media/video chat" to connect and have classes.

Nope.

 (had to post this, it's so true!)

So, if you're like me, is there something "different" you can do?

Well, I'm taking advantage of the massive amount of "free stuff" now available. YouTube uploads from zoos, author/illustrators, etc. My girls have fallen in love with art tutorials.

We're cooking/baking - and by "we" I mean my 7 year old is really getting some hands-on experience. She cooked hers and her sisters dinner on Monday. We baked Irish Soda bread yesterday. We'll make a cake tomorrow. We learned how to transform tomato paste into pizza sauce and had individual pizzas for lunch (tortillas, sauce, cheese, voila!).

I'm DIYing more things (cloth baby wipes for the WIN!)

I still make them have nap/quiet time, because of my own sanity. But instead of prepping the next day like a madwoman, I'm writing devotional entries and knitting.
~ Yes, knitting. I'm an avid crocheter, but for some things knitting works better and I have a few projects I've pushed aside for too long)

So maybe you're schedule has been completely changed. If so, then this post really isn't for you.

But if you're like me and discovered that being "forced" to stay home most of the time is pretty much your normal, let me encourage you.

You're fine. Your children are fine.  Could you still slow down some? Possibly, but don't stress about it.  While everyone else is finding a new "normal", revel in the fact that God has blessed you with the life you have. It's good to not be crazy and have your world turned upside down.

It's a blessing.

One day at a time.

Maybe, just maybe, you're doing something right. 

Matthew 6:34

Emotions and the Truth

Many females struggle to differentiate between what their emotions tell them and reality. Anxiety, stress, worry. Feelings of insufficiency, unimportance, inadequacy. I could go on and on, but there’s no need. You know what I’m talking about. 

We as moms (women) struggle, no matter how “stable” or “grounded” we seem. 

How does this relate to homeschooling and the Spirit?

In every way.

See, when we struggle, our children pick up on it. Sometimes in big ways, sometimes it’s subtle. 

How are we, as moms, dealing with this struggle of our emotions and the truth?

How are we teaching our children to deal with the struggle?

Here’s where I, personally, am coming from in this battle.

My emotions are something I have in abundance, yet tend to shove away with a forceful hand and try to ignore. After all, how often are they logical and in tune with reality?

But, they persist, always popping up when I least want them. Most of the time I feel guilty that I have illogical feelings.

-Cause that’s a logical response...

I have three girls, and the last thing I want is for them to struggle with any of the emotional issues I mentioned at the start of this blog entry. 

Yet, I’m on the other end of the spectrum. I’ve just recently come to terms with the fact that we have emotions we can’t control - and that’s ok. 

You see, what matters isn’t necessarily how we feel, but how we deal with those feelings. 

We can wallow in them, let them take over. 

We can ignore them.

We can also give them over to God and say

“Lord, this is how I feel. I don’t know what to do with the feelings, please help me see the truth and properly deal.”

I have to teach my children that it’s ok to feel, to have emotions and recognize them, but it’s not ok to let them take over or to feel guilty that we have emotional responses to things. 

I have the responsibility of teaching my children something I am still learning.

Where can I learn? I must turn to the Spirit- to God. Only in God can I learn to balance what I feel with truth, because only in God can I find truth. 

http://thedailyverses.blogspot.com/2012_07_01_archive.html?m=1

Lies we believe

“Life is not about being happy all the time, but about finding the joy in all the chaos and crazy.”

“You’re an overcomer”

“You’ve got this”

“You’re stronger than this”

Ever get tired of lies carefully clothed as Christian truths?

I do! 

Yet they are everywhere. Literally. Christians are mixing the gospel with self-help and discerning the truth is becoming difficult. 

This is a homeschool issue. Where will my children learn the importance gospel truth if not at home?

If I live life as though self-help and motivational speeches/posters are what gets me through, my children will do the same 

So, how about some scriptural truths?

God’s mercy is new every morning. 

In Christ is fullness of joy.

I am incapable and weak, but God is strong.

God’s love for me is eternal.

Grace is sufficient.

This is a small list, yet encompasses so many areas of life.

See, what I think, what I believe in to motivate me daily, is important. 

Am I believing lies, or truth? 

(Photo from michaelnoyes.com via image search)