Lies we believe

“Life is not about being happy all the time, but about finding the joy in all the chaos and crazy.”

“You’re an overcomer”

“You’ve got this”

“You’re stronger than this”

Ever get tired of lies carefully clothed as Christian truths?

I do! 

Yet they are everywhere. Literally. Christians are mixing the gospel with self-help and discerning the truth is becoming difficult. 

This is a homeschool issue. Where will my children learn the importance gospel truth if not at home?

If I live life as though self-help and motivational speeches/posters are what gets me through, my children will do the same 

So, how about some scriptural truths?

God’s mercy is new every morning. 

In Christ is fullness of joy.

I am incapable and weak, but God is strong.

God’s love for me is eternal.

Grace is sufficient.

This is a small list, yet encompasses so many areas of life.

See, what I think, what I believe in to motivate me daily, is important. 

Am I believing lies, or truth? 

(Photo from michaelnoyes.com via image search)

Grace or Peace

The Grace of God

The Peace of God 

What’s the difference? 

So, I did a study on the Peace of God this past week (focusing on Philippians 4:6-8 with other scriptural references).

I learned that, in general, the Peace of God, the Greek word eirene, is a unifying, restful peace. 

Our mind and heart join together with the will of God. We don’t have those internal struggles with ourselves and with what we know God wants. We don’t struggle against God. We have a restful unity with Him. 

Which made me wonder - isn’t that how we use the term grace?

“Lord, give me grace to deal with this.”

This hard time, difficult person, etc.

I guess people use grace that way because of II Corinthians 2:9, where Paul was telling about a trial he has endured and prayed for relief, but God’s answer was simply “...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness...” and Paul then concluded “...Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Yet the word grace there is no different than the word used all throughout the New Testament in a completely different context - the one of God’s unmerited favor in granting is salvation. 

Grace, in the Greek text, is the word charis. It means an act of favor, unmerited, deserving thanks. 

Remember Ephesians 2:8? 

“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God:”

The grace of God that is sufficient to get us through hardships is the salvation He grants us through faith. 

Remembering this should then put us in a worshipful mindset. 

Philippians 4:6-7 says

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

When we dig deeper into this, we see that when hard times come, it is God’s grace, His gift of salvation, that leads us to His peace. 

In prayer (worshipful conversation according to the Greek), supplication (humble request) with thanksgiving for ALL He has done, we can request help for our problems. 

Then, the peace of God will unify our heart and mind with Him and get us through in a way we can’t even have imagined or asked for.

A peace, calm, that goes beyond our understanding.

So really, when we say “I need grace for...” what we really mean, in Biblical terminology, is “I need peace...”

Here is why I’ve been trying to study more in this topic and get a better understanding. 

My youngest (outside the womb) is a very difficult child. Stubborn, disobedient, you name it. We have struggled in almost every aspect of life in her nearly four years. From sleep, eating, listening, potty training... I could go on and on. She is also on the slightly hyper side of normal and high energy children is something I don’t always handle well.

Discipline doesn’t seem to work with her personality, and neither does bribery. There are times I seriously feel like giving up.

• Don’t worry, I haven’t.

People always say “you get grace when you need it, for the time you’re in.”

Perhaps that’s so, but I’m wondering if we are missing something so much more beautiful. 

I have God’s grace always. I struggle with peace in the moment(s) of trouble. 

I would much rather allow God’s grace to put me in the right attitude to allow His peace to fill my heart, mind, and soul. 

Every day

Every moment

Every situation

So that when I butt heads with my blessing of a stubborn youngin’, peace abounds and God’s grace is visible. 

Homeschooling During Hardships

Disclaimer: This is just my story. In no way do I want pity, nor claim that this is the hardest thing anyone has gone through.

So, let me tell you the story before I get to how homeschooling looked during this mess.

This is our second year homeschooling, and I started off strong.  I even updated this almost every month for a while.

Then, my dad had surgery; vascular bypass in his right leg.  The surgery went very well, he went to a local rehab facility to get walking again.  After a month and a half they were satisfied and he was sent home. 
     Problem: he was semi-neglected while there.  His wife and I visited almost daily and tried to stay on top of the staff, but he still got some bad bed-sores.
One week after returning home (during that week, home health never came out to work with him) he went to his family doctor and was referred to a wound clinic because of the sore on his left heel.
Gangrene was the diagnosis, more surgeries scheduled.
After 3 surgeries over the course of a week, they managed to save his foot. He had to go back to rehab though, because he had to learn to move around without bearing weight on that one foot.

Needless to say, we went to a different rehab facility.
He was there for almost two months. It was a LOOONG drive from my house, but we were there almost every day, staying on top of the staff and keeping him company as he was bed-bound.
     ~ Side note: around this time I discovered I was expecting, and if you know my history with pregnancies you know the stress this added to my life. It's a blessing , but also  a time of worry and uncertainty.
Anyway, suddently his Medicare stopped paying and they had to send him home. We had 10 days notice to prepare the house and line up equipment and home health care.
We went with a different home health agency than before, and they came out the day he got home to help up work the equipment sent to the house (which was not right for him) and were awesome. Dad was improving greatly under their care.

Unfortunately, two weeks after he gets home this time, as we were getting him up for a scheduled doctor appointment, he became unresponsive. The EMS crew worked on him for over 30 minutes but couldn't bring him back.  They said it was a lung aneurysm.

So then, we had to do all the funeral stuff, find his will, and now I am executor of said will and we have a long ways to go.

6 months, my daughters and I were traveling 30ish minutes (one way) almost every day to care for my dad. Dare I admit that "school" was very...  well, I'm not sure the right word for it.

Some weeks, I managed to be organized enough to take school work with us to do in the car (because doing work in the room with my Dad watching TV wasn't happening). Other times, I didn't.

We did meet weekly with out CC group, and doing the memory work in the car was a piece of cake. Most of the past 6 months that's all we did.

I could look back and wonder about all that my children missed.  My youngest did pretty much nothing, but she's preschool age and has plenty of time to learn her ABCs and whatnot. My oldest did "fall behind" in her spelling and math - in the sense that we just couldn't work on it.

Then, I think about it more.

These past 6 months, though challenging, have been a great blessing. My children spent a TON of time with their Papa. I spent time showing them that, even when it's inconvenient, taking care of family is IMPORTANT. My dad didn't have a lot of family in the area.  His wife has health problems, as does her daughter. My sister and half-brother live far away. I'm the most able-bodied one to help.

So I did, and my children came along.  They watched, they spent time with him, and even if they didn't learn anything academically I pray they did learn something.

Even if they didn't, I learned something.

See, God was with me the entire time. 
He granted me grace and health when my Dad needed someone strong.
God granted my children grace also, because in spite of the crazy schedule and not knowing what would happen, they handled it like champs. You hear stories of how kids behavior changes in stressful times, but honestly my children hardly had issues.
    ~ What a blessing, and it's not because I'm this awesome mom. It's because God is an awesome God.

I've been blessed to have my children with me and my dad each day.

I've been blessed to not be working and therefore able to be with Dad daily.

I've been blessed with a husband who, though an obsessive neat-freak, didn't fuss when the house didn't get taken care of regularly. Or when food was on the table late, or was some frozen dinner when he's used to home cooking. He didn't complain about many other things he dealt with during this time also.

I've been blessed with friends who, during the week+ after Dad died, just jumped up to send me messages of prayer and encouragement. Friends who stepped in to watch my girls last minute while I did funeral stuff (and took them the day he died while I stayed around the house to help my step-mom).

My church family stepped in to help with food and such, even though he wasn't part of our church.

I can't even mention all the ways I have been blessed.

Most of these blessings would have been different/impossible if I were working and my children were in public school. The fact they were with me and I had the freedom of time to devote, made this whole situation work.

So, yes, academically, things didn't go well.

Another benefit of homeschooling.  They can easily "catch up". They learned life lessons that I couldn't teach them otherwise.



So, long post, but let me encourage you of something. If you come across hardships during homeschooling, and you can't "do school" as you planned, that doesn't mean you are failing or your children will never be "at grade level" again.

It means you have the freedom to do what you need to do.  Your children will learn from your example.

Do what God leads you to do.

If you don't do the academics for a month, 6 months, a year, it's ok.  God's got this.  

He's got you, your children, everything in His hands.

Prayer works

Have I mentioned how much I cringe when I hear people say something like "thanks for praying, it worked! >insert thing they wanted to happen<" 

It's like praying is the same thing as wishing on a star or tossing a penny in a wishing well. There's a sense of surprise when "prayer works." 

Prayer works. Hmmm...

When did things change? It used to be that we KNEW prayer worked because prayer was just part of our connection/relationship with God. We needed God like we need food and water. 

• I guess we have enough candy, soda, coffee, that we forget we need nutrition and water until we get sick. 

Now, it seems like we only turn to God in prayer when we have a specific want (yes, want, not always a true need). How often do we turn to God and just say "I need YOU" instead of "I want ---"

No wonder there's a sense of surprise, we are such children! 

My children are always asking me for things.

Here's an analogy for you. M'ija, 6 years old, has been nearly perfectly behaved all day. Her room clean, no fighting or arguing, etc. It's 30 minutes before daddy gets home for dinner and she asks "Mommy, may I please have some candy?"

In her mind, she has no reason to be denied this request. Yet, I say no. Her petition failed. 

She comes back in 5 minutes and asks again - I don't even answer her. Now, not only has her request been denied once, but now she is not being listened to. 

Sound familiar? She was denied the first time because something better for her is coming. She wasn't answered the second time because she already knew the answer. 

Don't we do this to God?

When we have a specific request that gets denied, sometimes over and over again, we feel like He doesn't care, isn't answering. Like praying "doesn't work."

Now, I know the analogy is a bit oversimplified, but hang with me a little longer. 

Let's talk scriptures. We know how powerful praying with faith can be. 

Matthew 21:22 " And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."

John 14:13-14 "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it."

Yet to we remember this one also?

James 4:3 " Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts."

Then you have the parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18:1-8.

But remember, she was wronged and the judge didn't do anything. At the end of the parable, Jesus tells us He is righteous and will avenge. 

Let's weigh all the verses together (and others I didn't reference) and I can sum them up - again a bit oversimplified, but I am not God. You want to full story, dig into the Bible yourself. Here's my summary - we have to be in the will of God. Our faith need to not be in His gift-giving, but in His Love, Power, Wisdom. 

See, prayer works, but it is not like wishing on a star. 

It's good to ask God for specifics, some people walk so closely with Him that is all they do. I admire that intimacy, strive for it myself. Personally, I'm not there. I tell God my desires, the specific answer I want, but I also pray more for His wisdom because I have received my wants enough to know that, quite often, I didn't want what I thought I wanted, and definitely didn't need them as I believed. 

So, prayers for peace and wisdom often accompany my requests for said desires.

See, He is my Father. Being a mother has taught me a lot about how this relationship is supposed to work. 

He loves me, wants me to trust him to tell Him things - things He already knows but means so much more coming from willing conversation.

He loves me, wants me to respectfully ask Him for things - and just as respectfully accept no as an answer. 

He loves me, wants me to trust His wisdom and knowledge.

He loves me, wants me to come to Him when I'm sad, hurt, angry, and let Him hold me. 

He loves me, gives me all the advice I need, but then let's me learn the hard way sometimes. He let's me make my own choices, even if it will hurt. He loves me enough to not be a tyrant - He gives me freedom.

He also loves me so much that, when I finally swallow my pride and return to Him, He holds me. He comforts me. 

He loves me enough to help heal my hurts and help me sort through the messes I make. 

I love my girls, they love me. I love for them to ask me things, talk, etc, yet nothing compares to when my girls just come up to me and love on me. 

These are all things I learned as a mom who loves her children. 

Matthew 7:11

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

I couldn't homeschool...

As the holidays are in full swing, it's difficult to continue to "teach" my children. How much focused time do I need daily with my oldest? My youngest, what about her? We're so busy, even though we stay home most days. 

Time management, wife vs mom vs teacher is a balancing act I feel like I'm not cut out for tackling.

You know, it's interesting being a former public school teacher turned homeschool mom. People look at me and say "Well, that's great, but I'm not you. I couldn't homeschool."

It's like they think my teaching degree in Spanish somehow qualifies me to teach my children every subject- or somehow makes me able to know all I need to know to teach. 

*stifled giggle*

Yeah, teaching an individual 6 year old English/Science/History/Math/etc. when a three year old is jumping on top of you is the same as teaching a class of middle/high school students Spanish. 

I'm in no way "specially trained" to do this job due to my college degree. What I do on a daily basis is COMPLETELY different than what I did while teaching public school. 

🎶 A whole new world... 🎶 

And honestly, I need reminding that it's different, because I sometimes want to slip into my "classroom teaching" habits that drain the fun of learning. 

Similarly, do you realize how little I know about teaching a child to read or spell? Math was always one of my worst subjects. *shudder* Science is... interesting yet difficult. And History? I adore history, but how do you pick and choose what to teach when? I only have so much time to cover so much info.

Then, to top it off, the girl asks questions. Questions to which I don't know the answers. 

Oh, I know, this is my job now.  I can research and learn. 

Yep, along with keeping the house nice enough for my clean freak hubby and doing all the other things we stay at home moms have time for while watching soap operas and eating bonbons.

Please tell me you read the sarcasm in the last sentence. I'm honestly happy there's nothing currently growing in my fridge (I think... I really should clean it out...)

To the point! 

A college degree, even if it is in education, is NOT what qualifies me to teach my children. 

God gave these children to me with a command in Deuteronomy 6: Teach each generation of God. 

Also, He always gives us the means to do what He calls us to do. Which is great, because on my own I couldn't teach my children. 

As it is, I'm needing help at this young age just to "stay on track" as my one gets older. 

So, really, I'm never fully "qualified" to teach anyone. Yet God is qualified, and He chooses to use me, their MOTHER, as the means by which to educate them. 

Wow. 

You won't know everything. I won't know everything. We won't always know the "best method" for teaching our child(ren).  

My husband has literally laughed at me for trying to teach the girls to do things I can't do. 

Yet, it's what we are called to do - a wonderful, difficult, fulfilling job and a love worth living. 

Forget the degree, remember that YOU have your child's best interest in heart, and a God that supplies all the need. 

You can. 

I can. 

God bless. 

Something I learned I learned...

You know, they say you realize how much you don't know when you become a parent. 

Me, well, I try to think of it more positively. 

I'm grateful for all I have learned since becoming a mom. 

Example:

 I had to wash dishes when my girls were napping. Our kitchen is right outside their bedroom door. 

I pick up the scrubber and there is a dreaded bug (probably came in on the wood we use to heat the house, but still).

Instead of screaming, I simply try to flick it down the drain. 

It disappeared. A minute later, I feel something on my ear.

I completely freaked out and did some sort of flailing, spin dance until I got it on the floor and squished. 

• Silently  -

My girls and hubby (who was studying his Bible in the other room) had NO idea I had a total flip out at the kitchen sink. 

How does this relate to homeschool?

Glad you asked!!

Our children are watching us. 

 👁👁

They are learning from us. 

Is it ok to be freaked out? Yes. 

Did I need to wake up the entire neighborhood? No. 

It's something to think about. How am I teaching my children to deal with their emotions? 

Y'all, I have two girls. It gets emotional in our house. There are days I think we spend more time crying than anything else. 

And it's ok. That's what I tell my daughters. It's ok to feel angry, sad, frustrated, etc. We can't always control our feelings. 

We can, however, learn to control how we act when we feel certain ways. 

It's a valuable, Biblical lesson. Ephesians 4:26 says "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath."

Words mean a lot, so do actions. When they see us get angry and take a breath before reactions, or they see us picking ourselves up and moving on even when we are sad, they see us talk calmly to someone who hurt our feelings or made us mad... they see it is possible.

I know we can't always react perfectly, but I am thankful that God has grown me in many ways as a parent- one of which is I can have a freak out,  or even a meltdown, and unless someone can see me the world is oblivious. 

This works "EVERY TIME"

So, as a parent of two young ones, I've had my share of moment when I just about want to give up. 

I do what I think is right, and when/if that doesn't work I turn to others for help. 

Example: bedtime. Teaching the child to sleep. 

My oldest, we did the Cry It Out method (if you disagree with this, don't do it with your child and let me be). It was about 3-5 nights of nigh-unbearable tension for the first 30ish minutes after putting her down. 

Then, like everyone said would happen, a nearly magical thing occurred. She didn't cry. She laid down quietly and eventually fell peacefully asleep in her own. She has slept wonderfully ever since. 

Child #2 comes along, we figured we would do the same thing. 

No.
Nightmare-ishly NO.

I even joined a sleep training support group on Facebook, consulted the doctor... 

No.

I was constantly being told "well, you must be doing something wrong because it works EVERY TIME."

No.

I beat myself up for months, there must be something wrong with me as a parent if it works EVERY TIME and even though I followed recommendations and instructions to a T she would not go to sleep on her own.

I then tried other methods, including co-sleeping, that work "EVERY TIME", followed instructions to a T yet again, sure that someone somewhere has figured out the method that really doesn't fail. 

No. Not at all. 

My littlest just hates sleep. 

Her - win

Me - lose

Then God showed me something. 

Nothing is "every time" when it comes to people. There are always some cases that do not fit inside the box. I had one of those cases for a child - she fit into no box I could find. 

And that's ok. God still placed me as her mother. She doesn't fit into a prepackaged box plan? Momma, make a new plan, perhaps a tire, or bubble. 

Stop comparing yourself and your child to others. 

This applies to homeschooling, as well as most of life. 

The "one size fits all" adage is baloney (misspelled on purpose).

Now, disclaimer, one size fits all may be a good place to start if you don't know what you are doing. Just don't let it take over your expectations and stress you out. 

God gave us all our individual lots in life. Our family, children, houses, job(s), etc. 

Our losses, our blessings, every mundane moment. 

If it "works EVERY TIME", but doesn't work for you, here's a simple three step program that really will work. 

1. toss it out the window
2. pray earnestly and with expectation of an answer
3. try again with whatever answer God gives

Because the only thing that truly works EVERY TIME is God.

God always answers, we just don't always listen.

But that's another post...

God bless!

Romans 3:3 - For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?

Psalms 86:15 - But thou, O Lord, [art] a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth