Why do I homeschool?

First, an apology that we are a week later than normal. Our laptop died and I cannot type anything worthwhile on my phone screen nor upload pictures. I honestly hate using my phone. But, I digress.

Secondly, you need to know that this post is about 2-3 years in the making. I have often been asked the question "Why do you homeschool?" and, honestly, it's been one that I struggle to answer correctly.

My initial desire is to list off all the wonderful things about homeschooling. 

Lack of peer pressure

Truly individualized learning opportunities

Control of our schedule

Control of the curriculum

Freedom to focus our teaching through the lens of Christianity and truth rather than the current popular worldview of the day. 

The list can go on and on, but is that really why I homeschool my children? 

 

Answering the question of "why" is much more important than I initially believed. I used to think - what does it matter why? I'm doing it, right, so who cares why?

Then God, in His wonderful way, whispered truth to me in the midst of a storm in my life. Why we homeschool helps us keep focus when we can't homeschool.

Mind blown.

Like, so what about peer pressure when you're literally dealing with life and death?

So what about the ability to control our schedule when we have no control over that is happening in life and our schedule is too crazy to even manage?

Curriculum? We haven't been able to open a book in a month, does curriculum even matter? 

Depression, anxiety, health issues... There are so many things that can get in the way of all the good reasons to homeschool. 

What motivates me to homeschool - what motivates you to homeschool - matters. It matters because you may only be homeschooling for a few years. You may homeschool one child and not another. You may be in it for the long haul. You need to know why, so you can plan and stick with it for the duration.

That let me back to the basics, to the heart of the issue. What is my motivation, what will keep me homeschooling and what would make me choose to stop if I did?

 Why Do I Homeschool?

See, after much prayer, the true answer became obvious. God called me to homeschool. End of story. He called me to it, and I said "yes". My husband was fully on board. In fact, this was something that we entered our marriage knowing that we were going to do as a family. Knowing that this is a calling from God is what keeps me going. In the hard times when "life" happens and academics are pushed aside. When there are tears over math, defiance concerning writing, and complete apathy regarding everything, I know that God called us to homeschool. 

After all that He has done for me, can I really turn my back and say no? He willingly left His throne where angels ministered to Him and all of heaven worshiped His name to come to earth and wrap Himself in flesh. He dealt with fatigue, hunger, temptations, rejection... He was willing to suffer the cat-of-nine-tails, then have Himself hung on a cross with nails hammered into His hands and feet, having to push up on those nailed feet in order to breathe, scrapping His already wounded back... all while the Father turned away because of the weight of sin that was upon my Lord Jesus.

 Surely, I can make it through another day, another week, another year, of homeschooling. Such a small thing to ask of me. 

Will I ever stop homeschooling? It will literally take an act of God since it is He who called me to it. So... I seriously doubt it.

Does that mean homeschooling is easy for me? Sadly, no. We have some great days, we have some rough days, and everything in between.

But I know why I am homeschooling. This why has helped to shape the look of my homeschool throughout the years, and will continue to mold and shape us as a family.

I'm going to rephrase something my pastor says often to fit what we are talking about.

Our homeschool isn't what it should be, but I thank the Lord that it isn't what it was.

Just as God has grown me, He is growing our school, our family. I wouldn't miss this journey for anything.

Planning

 I absolutely love planning out the school year. I love the look of fresh notebooks and binders, opening the new curriculum (or re-using some old for a different child), looking at the meet-ups of our homeschool group...

Mostly, I love figuring out what books we're going to read* as a family.

Now, we do Classical Conversations (CC), which isn't for everyone but I highly recommend you take a look at it if you are not sure what you need to do this year. I say that because that will give you a glimpse into our homeschool model. 

We mostly school the classical method, lots of reading and memory work for the younger ages, then building from there. Personally, we keep it very simple. Many CC families supplement a lot of other curriculum into their school - which is fine if that works for them. Us, the only thing I supplement is math. We follow the CC curriculum for basically every subject. We read* a TON of historical novels and biographies that go along with the history of this cycle. We also love the podcast Real Cool History for Kids.

 

Anyway, back to the planning thing. I want to share two book series, by the same authors, that my girls absolutely love and is also great for boys. Heroes of History and Christian Heroes:Then and Now. These are great biographies, and as read-alouds they are good even for slightly younger ages than those who could read them by themselves. 

Another aspect of planning is.... the planner. There are so many options out there! From a typical calendar planner, to fancy ones you can buy of Etsy, you can find almost anything. It's so overwhelming, but I dove in with a vengeance this year.

Honestly, until this year, I didn't use a planner. I bought a spiral notebook for each child, wrote the week on the top of a page, and Monday-Friday wrote out what I expected of them each day. Because we keep things simple, that worked great for us - until last year. My oldest added a writing and grammar curriculum (Essentials in the CC world) and both wanted to learn an instrument. I couldn't keep up by the end of the year. So, I'm hoping/praying to find something better this year.

Planning is a reminder to me of God's promise in Lamentations, that His compassion never fail but are renewed every morning - great is His faithfulness! 

We too get a new chance. Maybe school didn't go well last year. Maybe starting is a struggle we don't want to face, or the end was all tears.  We got a new chance at this he educating thing. A chance to focus on what is important and take a new look at what is needful.

So, I'll end with a question that I hope to answer myself for you in the coming month. This question is key to planning, because if you don't know why you are doing what you are doing, or where you want to go, then planning is kinda... pointless.

The Question: Why are you homeschooling?

This could be answered many ways. What made you start, why do you continue... but really, what is your goal for this year and the years to come? Do you take it only one year at a time, or are you in it for the long haul?

Feel free to comment and share your answer - or comment with any awesome planners you have found, books/series you recommend, etc. I love to hear what works for others!

God bless!

*Read being sometimes I read aloud during lunch, but often we listen to audiobooks. I have fallen in love with audiobooks because my 3 year old doesn't like when I read aloud for more than 5 minutes, so I can quietly keep her occupied while we listen for 30+ minutes.

Grief

Grief and Homeschooling - this has been heavy on my heart and I feel the need to wade through these dark waters with you.

Let's begin with this fact: everyone will handle grief differently. Therefore, whatever you read on my blog is how my family has dealt with grief. It may be a help, but it may not. 

I pray it does help, but if not I encourage you to seek Biblical counseling.

When we grieve, do we still teach?

Honestly, we have done both. Through my miscarriages, the earlier ones were when my girls were younger and didn't understand what was going on. This recent one, my oldest knew and understood, so things were different. We paused for a week and just did every day life. Focusing on what was still true, what life was, helped help her through the sadness of the loss. We did restart "school", but that first week we learned to focus on the blessings God has given that we can still see. 

When my dad died, we stopped "school" for a while. He passed in May and we didn't touch academics until August.  My girls still learned, but it was different. We were dealing with arrangements, legal issues with his estate... and my girls went everywhere with me. They learned. We moved on, yet mourned at the same time. That's one way of dealing with grief.

Really, I don't think this is a cut-and-dry answer. You know your ability to teach and your children's ability to learn while grieving. Don't feel like you have to teach - your children will not "fall behind", but also don't feel like continuing on is a horrible thing. Pray for wisdom and follow the prompting of God.

How do we teach our children to grieve Biblically?

I believe the way to teach them to grieve Biblically is to be an example for them. They need to see that tears are ok - sadness is part of grief - but weeping doesn't have to mean we are doubting or questioning the goodness of God. Romans 8:35-39 tells us that nothing can separate us from the love of God. My family has memorized that section of scripture and we go back to it often. There is so much there to hold on to when we grieve.

Likewise, our children need to know that it's ok to be happy and have a good time - to move on with life. The person who is dead is not looking down on us wondering why we've "forgotten" them. No, they don't care. Besides, just because we learn to smile and laugh doesn't mean they are forgotten.  

God is truth. He wants us to think on what is true. This includes the fact that life moves on after death. God wants us to find peace and joy in HIM, not in our circumstances. 

Read Philippians chapter 4.

Honesty. Communication. We need to be willing to talk without over-talking.

How to we teach our children to interact with others while we grieve?

Our emotions will, most likely, not be stable or predictable during grief. Same with our children. Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us to be angry but sin not, and to not give place to the devil. We, and our children, may need to learn to back off or walk away when we wouldn't have otherwise. To bite our tongues and let only edifying words come out (Eph. 4:29). As Thumper famously said, "If you can't say nothin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." 

We can't control other people, and we should not expect others to walk on tiptoes as if on broken glass just because we are still emotional from grief. Walking hand in hand with our children to give ourselves a bit of grace for emotional outbursts, and others grace when they aren't as kind or gentle as we think they ought to be, helps our entire family to grow in God's grace.

How do we teach our children to aid others in their grief?

I find this more difficult, as people grieve differently and need help differently. Some people need to talk, others not. Some need to be active and do things, others can barely get out of bed. 

First, we go to receivings and funerals. Every one we know about. It's a visual reminder to the family that someone sees and cares. It isn't fun nor enjoyable, but we do it and my girls understand why. We also continue to pray for the family at home - for more than a week. Everyone prays for the first week, sometimes on through the first month. How many people continue after that? Prayer is SO powerful, and the person may never know you are praying for them, but my encouragement to you is - don't stop.

Then we look for practical ways- bringing a meal, gift cards for restaurants, or groceries. This isn't always do-able, but if it is, we try to be a help.

Beyond that, we try to read the need. This is more difficult, but some people shine in this area. I have one daughter who seems to know when people need a hug, note, etc. She's much more intuitive concerning the emotional needs of others. She isn't good at making things though, but that is the strength of another one of my daughters. We work together, as a family, to try to take any other step to help. 

Grief is difficult for everyone. It doesn't have a timeline nor a set path on which it always takes a person.

As parents, we are called to help our children - to train them up in the way they should go. This is part of training our children. Yes, they are children now, but we want them to be mature adults following Christ, don't we? That means we guide them.

God bless.

Applying Learning

The past year my oldest daughter and I have been studying sentence structures and diagramming. 

Fun, right? 

Actually, we rather enjoyed it and are looking forward to digging deeper next year, but I totally understand if you find such a study to be tedious, useless, or any other possible negative adjective. No matter your opinion on sentence diagramming, studying structure, style, and all that grammatical "stuff", follow with me as I share something God has revealed to me through it all.

We all know that language is the main way we communicate with other people. There are many different spoken languages, then add the written word, sign language, body language.... Language is important because proper communication makes a big difference in the way we understand others and are understood ourselves.

God's Word is given to us in such a beautiful way. The language used in the Bible is special. We are blessed with a translation in our own language, but also with access to the original languages and dictionaries.

I've been one to look into definitions for a while, mainly because often we misunderstand each other due to not truly knowing the meaning of words. For example, if you say the word "love" in English, many possible definitions come to mind - so if we want to understand the Biblical definition(s) of love, we must look at the original language and the context to truly understand. Because, let's be honest, the modern saying that "love is love" is simply not true. But I digress and will get back to my original thought.

With what I learned about conjunctions and sentence structures this year, I have begun to read scripture with a renewed interest. I have learned to apply my knowledge of the English language to deepen my understanding of the Word of God. Learning conjunctions that their purposes has helped me to see more in the epistles. Those introductions that used to just seem like *r e a l l y*   *l o n g* rambling sentences now come to life with meaning.

What a valuable lesson God has taught me in allowing me to teach my children!

What a valuable lesson to be able to pass on to my children, that the study of the English language isn't just so that we can sound intelligent and impressive, but is also that we can grow closer to the Lord our God.

 

What have you learned recently? Can you take that knowledge and use it to grow closer to God? If you have learned anything true, it can help you see God because God is truth. All truth points to Him and can draw us closer to Him.

I challenge you to use what you learn in teaching your children
to see God more clearly.

Nevertheless

And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.

Matthew 26:39

 This is a prayer that is quite possibly one of the hardest prayers for us to pray.

It is also most likely one of the most needful.

 

 We struggle through hard times as women, as mothers. We feel the weight of all those around us. We naturally bear other's burdens. We want to nurture, heal, yet are often unable to truly produce the desired change.

Sometimes it's the health of a parent - we don't want our parent to suffer, get sick, or die, nevertheless, not our will but the Lord's. We have to walk through that valley and depend on His strength.

 Sometimes it's the health of a child. Children get sick all the time, but what about when the sickness is life-threatening? What if it's especially painful, or one of those things that drags out for along time with no known ending? We want the child healed! Nevertheless, not our will, but the Lord's. We have to lean on Him.

 Our health, or the health of a spouse. How can we provide for our children, financially, emotionally, spiritually, if we fear losing our life or the life of our spouse? 

A job, the house, there are so many situations where we find ourselves praying for relief, praying for escape. We know what we want and we don't want to have to suffer through potential loss.

 Our prayers are "Lord, don't make me go through this."

I don't say this to condemn. I also struggle.

But there is a peace when we can truly see that all our hope, all our peace, lies in Jesus Christ. His Spirit is what gives us life.

When we finally get to the point where we can truly say "nevertheless", there is a freedom. There is peace that can only come from the Lord.

Lord, I don't want to go through the pain I see coming my way. I don't want to deal with this, but I know Your Word is true. I don't feel confident, but I know You are true. I know You love me, You work all things for my good. I know nothing can separate me from Your love, that Your grace is sufficient. Please, take this cup from me, nevertheless, Thy will be done. If I must, please give me Your peace that passes understanding, Your joy that is not the world's joy, and help me to trust in You. Nevertheless, Thy will be done.

I prayed this prayer recently (admittedly, the words were probably not as clear, but the meaning the same) and I can not describe the peace that flowed over my heart when I said amen.

We can trust God.

💕    💕    💕

I'm going to leave you with a few songs that have helped me in the past.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAmh3yvmzXs - Thy Will by Hillary Scott

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgFgOZOL9aA - Lay it Down by Jaci Velasquez

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nyG29JJoGk - Even If by Mercy Me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyJuyJuJz-s -It Is Well

 

I didn't expect that.

This is going to be a piggy-back off of my previous post, so if you missed that feel free to click over and read.

Today was a day that Alexander could have called a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day." Absolutely nothing went as planned, and actually many of the plans I had made were completely ruined - much to the distress of my children.

This situation allows me, as the mother, to teach my children how to properly handle the unexpected.

This is part of what being a parent, called to train my children in the way they should go, is all about.

Today, God allowed me to teach by good example - He gave me the grace to help show what good can come of a terrible, horrible, no good situation. I was allowed to talk my emotional pre-teen through the disappointment of not being able to do all the fun we had planned and still see that God is good. I was able to be calm in having to find new childcare, missing lunch, and finding the grocery store closed, all within 30 minutes. 

Homeschooling, I have found, is primarily non-academic. Truly.

Let me encourage all my mom friends: homeschooling or not,  from little babies all the way up to adult-age children. Life is non-academic. What is most important is non-academic.

We often face the unexpected. Our children need to learn how to face the unexpected. Will we teach them to react to the unexpected like Alexander, in frustration? Or will we teach them to face the unexpected with a reliance in God.

Our God is never caught off guard. What is unexpected to us is just part of how He is going to move in our lives. He created everything, knew my frame before I was formed in my mother's womb, and knew this day before time began.

We can trust Him. We NEED to trust in Him.

We need to teach our children to trust in Him.

I am praying for you. I am praying for grace and peace through the expected and the unexpected.

When Home Education is Not Academic

We are taking a break from school in May.

At least, that's what I tell people. My children are fairly convinced this is a fact also, simply because we aren't doing math worksheets nor getting out the science book.

Yet, truly, most of our days are spent the same way they are always spent.

We read the Bible - the girls and I are going through the history books of the Old Testament.

We create things - they wanted to build a house for some cat figurines out of pop-cycle sticks. 

We wrestle with our hearts and attitudes towards each other.

 

Most of the education I give my children is non-academic. Yes, math, history, spelling, science, all that is good - but if I fail to teach my children what it means to follow Christ, to be godly women... if I don't teach them diligently to love the Lord God first and then to love others as themselves, then what am I teaching them? 

You have to decide what God has called you to focus on as a homeschool mom. I'm learning that the journey is way more than academics. Even when we are "doing school", the majority of my day is focused on teaching my children nonacademic lessons.

Life lessons that will impact every aspect of their life.

Some verses that influence our journey:

Children, obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing to the Lord (Colossians 3:20)

Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32)

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. (Matthew 22:37-39)

God bless.