Second Year!

Guess what I have learned?

I won't be perfect. 

Sorry, that title belongs to one and one only. 

Oh, there will be days when I get up early, have it all planned out, AND things actually go according to plans. 

Feed the family well, school is a breeze, the house straightened/cleaned (including laundry and dishes), and I am fresh and happy when my husband arrives home. The calm, balanced mother that loves and disciplines well is present. He wife my husband always dreamt of coming home to after work greets him at the door. 

Need I go on? It's the "perfect" day that rarely happens, but they do come. 

It never fails, in comes those days when all the skeletons fall out of the closet and I'm really just happy no one died or came and took my children from me (or locked me up and left them to do without me).

I needn't go into details in those days.

Most days are in-between days. 

And that has been my year so far. 

We're 7 weeks into it (yes, we started kinda early) and honestly, I'm super pumped about what my girls have managed to learn. Especially considering I feel like I haven't "done school" near as much as I should. 

There's been a few hard weeks. My dad had surgery on his leg that, honestly, did little else but discourage and hurt him physically. I've been dealing with that as much as possible without letting my little girls see their big Papa weak. 

We had guests who fled Florence, and while that was an enjoyable time of catching up with old friends, adding four other people to our house a few days made it a bit crazy. 

As if everyday potty training isn't enough to stress a momma out. 

But, back to where I started. 

Most days are those in-between the good and bad days. Enough school/house work gets done that we might be able to claim progress (3 steps forward, right?) but it isn't a "complete" success. 

Then I have to remind myself - who am I trying to be successful for? Who am I pleasing?

In general, I don't have a problem with trying to be supermom. Really. I know where God put me, what He expects of me, and that's more than enough to keep me non-stop busy. 

Most of the time I'm content. 

Then the little nagging in the back of my mind start. 

"You should..."

"What if you did...?"

"Well, Betsy Jean does..."

"Little Suzy is your daughters age and she ...."

Wanna talk about destroying joy? Peace? Those voices will. 

So, some reminders when we are either falling short and drowning in bad days, or maybe just feel like we're sloshing around in the puddles of in-between (🙋🏻).

In John 14:27, Jesus says "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you: not as the World giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

• The world gives temporary relief, Jesus gives full-on and whole hearted peace. We just have to accept it. 

II Corinthians 12:9 Jesus reminds Paul (and therefore us) that God's strength is perfect in our weakened. When we realize we are weak, His strength can then shine through. 

God has given us all a specific task (or set of tasks). He has given us gifts of the Spirit to be able to complete said tasks. 

And all we do is supposed to point back to Him. 

So, year two of Homeschooling:  am I focused on being "perfect", or am I focused on God?

When failure breaks you - or threatens to.

I'm a homeschool mom. Failure isn't an option for my children - I'm there to guide them each and every step, and to adjust instruction as needed to insure success. 

This first year, failure broke me. 

I sat up for hours after the night her group met the last time this year and cried. I failed. 

No one would believe it, to see my daughter. She's smart, advanced, and has grown mentally and socially so much in the past year. She received an award for leadership in her class. 

Leadership.

My daughter. 

The one who hides behind me when meeting people and refuses to even tell her daddy what she learned in school that week. My awkwardly shy child, out there being a leader in her group. 

What a success! I should be proud - and I am. I am beyond proud and happy for her accomplishments.

Still failure broke me. 

No, my daughter didn't fail. 

Figure it out yet?

I failed. 

I spent every day of our weekly community days not witnessing my child grow. 

I homeschool my child, mainly so I have an active hand in everything and can witness how she does things. 

Fail. 

I finally confessed this feeling to my husband. Do you know what he said to me?

"You mean you didn't get it perfect the first year?"

.......

Wow. That hit me square in the face. 😤😑😩😔

I love my husband for many reasons, but God blessed him with he ability to say the right things to get me back in track. 

I didn't get it perfect the first year. 

How could I have expected to, really? I am not perfect. I may have a degree in education, but never trained for elementary education. I taught public school- very different situation. 

My self-expectations were way too high and my self-confidence was truly SELF-confidence, not God-led confidence. 

I thought I could be the perfect homeschool mom, first year in. 

I did a lot of things right - by the grace of God.

I failed some too.

Am I a failure? No. In spite of how I felt about it, I was still doing what God wanted. God led, He guided, and He took care of it all. 

Looking back, I can see how it did my daughter good too. 

Do I want to change things for next year?

Definitely.

God allowed me to see something I could do differently, something that would be better. 

He used the year to grow my child - and to grow me. 

So really, I'm not a failure. God loves me for who He has made me and who He is turning me into. 

His mercies renew each morning

His grace is sufficient when I am deficient (which is often, let's be honest).

"He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be. He's still working on me."

Year end? Already?

The "year" wraps up

Ok, so I know it's been a while since I've updated this blog. What can I say - parenting and schooling took up a LOT of my time. 

First, went through a bit of the "Blahs" when getting back into the flow after the holidays was difficult. 

Really though, when you pick a curriculum like CC and you tutor a group in the community, you have to stay on the ball at home too. So, each week I wrote the info on our board at home. I wrote it on paper to take to our community day. I sang the songs with my girl. I did some math games and we read basic readers. 

*Note* We don't do math, reading, and memory work all in the same day, every day. At her age, that's way too much. We pick one thing we are set in doing, then if she chooses to do more that's fine and it not, we stop. 

One thing I found works well for us - Math worksheets are awesome for introducing new concepts and practicing for the first week or two. After that, she gets burned out on them. So, we find new ways to incorporate math. Real life examples, so she can see how it's practiced in daily life. 

Ex: we were baking cookies last week and I had her add up how many cups of ingredients were in the batter. Then, she guessed how many cookies that might make. She was pretty close too.

I'm proud of her, she's begun to see math in everything. Peeling an orange, she split it and said "Four plus four equals eight. Mommy, there are eight sections in an orange."

Reading began to get a bit daunting too. She didn't like to read an entire story on her own - it took too long. I had to remind myself, she is young.  Let's figure out another way to do this, a way where she still gets practice but it isn't "hard work".  The last thing I want is for her to get burned out on reading and other learning before she turns 6.

We take turns reading. I let her pick the story (we have a whole shelf of books at her level and just enough above to help her grow) and I start us off.  Every other paragraph we switch. It works well, and her comprehension is better because she's paying more attention. 

So, back to the start of this entry when I said that the year wraps up now. 

Our curriculum is a 24 week program. We are on week 24, had our last community day today, and have the final celebration on Friday.  

In a way, we are "done". It's crazy, both my girl and I are happy and sad. 

First, we made it through with shining colors - especially her. She has bloomed socially and her memory for the facts is amazing. 

We are going to miss meeting weekly with everyone, though to be perfectly honest we will not miss the early mornings. 😆

We love our sleep in this family. 😴 

My plans - probably take next week easy by wrapping up my Bible Verses (I've been introducing one per letter weekly with her other memory work, and we have one left) and doing math/reading. 

Then take a week "off". Maybe two, since my mom is planning a visit around Mothers Day and, let's be honest, "school" isn't likely to happen. My girl is great, but a bit shy when it comes to sharing her knowledge. 

We will school year round though.  I don't want to drop everything during the summer months. I feel like that is unrealistic- learning happens all the time! We are to always gain knowledge, grow in understanding, then develop wisdom.  If we stop learning, we aren't progressing as God intended. 

That being said, I'm not going to dig out CC stuff during the summer (except maybe the songs that get constantly stuck in my head - those will probably come out at random times.)

No, but I will still teach math and reading weekly, and review the Bible verses. I also want to use the summer to teach the other stuff I seem to never be able to fit in - like the calendar, seasons, etc. I've introduced this stuff, but haven't had a chance to go farther. 

This is all stuff that can be done either by normal daily experiences or in 20 minutes at the table. 

That's my plan. 

Check back in a few months to see how well I am able to follow through with it. 😄🙄

God bless!

Fuzz balls and strings: Homeschooling during the holidays and sicknesses

Does anyone else have a child who freaks out over fuzz balls and strings? I mean, really freaks out. It's like my littlest thinks they are attacking her. She's worse that I am about spiders (and if you know me, that's BAD).

Let's not mention what happens with food that turns stringy... 

It reminds me of how I react sometimes, especially when I look back on my day/week/month and think "Epic Fail."

For example: Homeschooling from November through the start of January...

I had planned to do simple review games of the concepts we worked on earlier, so she could have fun and still learn. Structured time to do the fun and creative stuff I don't normally fit into my schedule. 

Instead... Let's just say that my children learned a lot about what foods are easier on the stomach and just how often you can visit the doctor and clean out the car seats... among other things.  We had 6(?) doctors visits in that time frame due to fevers and whatnots. 

Epic fail, right?

--- side note: if my children were not socialized, they would not have kept catching the illnesses they had...  but I digress... ---

*sigh*

We had a lot of snuggle time, and since I'm not big on TV/Movies, we did a lot of reading together. 

We read through an advent calendar of scriptures I created, and so many of their books. We even finished a few simple chapter books. 

Did her academics completely disappear? No, we had a few good days in there where we did review phonics and CC memory work, but overall we kinda just rode the waves of uncertainty when you keep passing illnesses around the family.

While I felt like I was falling way behind in the school aspect of life, I was grateful. Grateful that, as a homeschooling mom, I have the freedom to take a few days (or weeks) easy and not worry that she is going to fall behind. 

If she missed school - public or private - as often as we had sick days, she would have fallen very far behind and we both would have been stressed trying to catch her up.  With how things worked, we learned in more relaxing ways (board games and stories) when we could, and I know she will be fine when it comes to everything else. 

So really, was it an epic fail? Did I fail my child when we "took time off" from memory work and math worksheets?

No. 

I taught my children the depth of my care for them. I loved on them, did special things with their meals and our family time. I taught my older one (only 5) how to take her time when she was sick and not rush - and she turned around when her little sis got sick and helped her slow down and take time to heal. 

My love is a reflection of God's love for them. We prayed for other people, even when we were sick. Yes, they prayed for themselves too, but I got to teach a real life lesson that even as we aren't always healthy and happy, others struggle too and need prayer. 

Those are lessons that apply directly to life. As important as math, science, history, etc are, teaching my children that they are loved and can share love with others - that is more important. 

So when I'm tempted to freak out about the fuzz balls distracting my days, or whine about the strings that get pulled and unravel all I've been working towards...

I am reminded that I am blessed. Blessed to be able to choose homeschool, To choose what lessons my children learn. Blessed to be able to fill their hearts with genuine love so they will have the strength to go out and love on others. 

Ephesians 6:12 says

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

Sometimes those spiritual battles come in a physical manner. 

When you are fighting illnesses, big or small, when things just don't seem to be working out right, it is so easy to give in to the feeling of failure. Throwing up your hands and saying "I give up!"

We really need to be saying "I give it to You, Lord!"  

Honestly, I have a hard time with that sometimes. I feel like I should have it all together. After all, I'm Mommy so I know exactly what my children need. I'm a wife of over a decade, surely I can take care of my husband. I'm home all day, the house should be orderly and tidy. I'm a former school teacher, education comes as easy as breathing....

We have expectations of ourselves, and we work hard at living up to them.

Yet Christ said "seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."  (Matthew 6:33)

Following HIS will, HIS plan. 

Galatians 5:14

For the law is fulfilled in one word, even this: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

How does that tie in? I want my children to love others, love them as much as they are loved. It's easier to love yourself when you are loved. I love my children, and am capable of loving them because God loves me and informs me that I am lovable. 

So, even when they don't learn math, science, whatever, if they learn the love of Christ and how to share that love, I have not failed. 

The Holidays and Russian Tea

Halfway through the CC year! 

We are currently on holiday break, so our school schedule has now changed. 

First, since we aren't meeting weekly with new information, I am introducing very little new stuff to my child. We are reviewing the memory work, two subjects a week. For example, she wanted to review geography and math first, so my little board has all twelve weeks of geography and math. And scripture. I want to be sure we cover scripture regularly. 

The "new" info we will learn is the stuff I fell behind on during the CC schedule. Stuff like my ABC Bible verses and finishing up a phonics workbook. The things Onwant to do that isn't part of the official curriculum. 
Because, let's face it, learning never ends unless you shut your minds and heart to the information out there. I want my daughter to learn that - how vital learning is throughout her entire life - without being stressed about it all the time. 

A way to relax while trying something new, and reconnect with what we should already be familiar with.

Much like the Russian Tea I am currently drinking. 

(Huh? Just hang on a moment...)

We had Thanksgiving dinner with my in-laws on Thanksgiving. My SIL had some instant Russian Tea mix, the recipe of which she had been given by her late mother-in-law and was under orders not to share the "secret recipe". 

So, I sat there trying the delicious new drink, wondering how to figure out the recipe, and watching my girls play with their cousins. 

I thought about how wonderful it was that my girls get to connect with their cousins. They don't get a lot of time together, living 30 minutes away from each other and having different family schedules (they public school, we homeschool is one example). So, it's great to watch them play as if they play together all the time. It's as if no time has passed. 

I love how that relationship stays. I see it with my husband and his cousins - it can be a year before they see each other again, but the bonds they formed as children are still there. No, they don't agree with each other in everything, and have their moments, but they are a tight family that will always be there for each other. 

I didn't have that growing up. I had my sister, but no cousins.  Small family. 

They do new things, share with their old devoted friends (family) and enjoy life. Reconnect.

Where does the Russian Tea come in? 

It's a "secret family recipe" - but when I googled it, I found a few variations. All I have to do is discover which one tastes like what I had last night (and tonight, since I brought some of the mix home with me).

I could use trial and error. I could try to pry the exact recipe out of my SIL.  

And yet, I go back to watching my children, niece, and nephews playing together. Their parents know the secret recipe to a connected family - they live it. 

I want that recipe for my children. Do I use trial and error to get it right, or do I go to the source?

Is their recipe perfect?

Do we, as Christians, keep the recipe to peace a secret? Do we keep grace a secret? Forgiveness? When we get things right (aka: do things Gods way) do we keep it a secret?

Or do we share it?

Family.

Tea.

Salvation.

Amazing how God uses the daily to remind us of Him. 

We need the reminders. 

2 Peter 1:12

"Wherefore I will not be negligent to our you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth."

So, the holiday break allows us to reconnect. Friends, family, people we don't see often. 

It gives us time to focus on what is important, and to enjoy the truly meaningful moments in life. 

We can sit back and drink our tea with satisfaction. We can share it with others. 

Are we sharing the recipe so they can continue to enjoy it, or just giving a taste of the peace we have deep inside?

Complaints or blessings?

Sometimes I'm reminded of the various struggles we all have. 

Health, family, job, politics, finances...

On and on and on, big things and little things. 

I see people complain (jokingly and seriously) and I feel for them, I do. 

Then sometimes I think - if you only knew. I know someone who would trade a good week to have your troubles. 

Sometimes I would trade a good week to have some of the "troubles" we read about. 

And yet... Do we realize how much we are blessed? Do we really?

I can't truthfully say I never complain. I wish I could. I can say, however, that over the past year I have learned to complain less. 

I've learned, that God has worked so many miracles in my life. He has provided in so many ways. 

He has even provided enough to allow my family to be a blessing to others. 

And yes, things have been hard, but God has been my strength, my refuge, my rock, my Salvation. 

If you only knew everything He has done for me.

.....

I'm not really sure what else to say. 

.....

If we could step back and look at things differently, would we be willing to? 

What if we looked at our life from the perspective of someone wanting to bless others with our story?

What would we then say?

.....

Yes, we want sympathy. We want understanding. We want prayer. 

But do we want to bless?

.....

Life gets hard, we have struggles, we need help. 

Do we want to drag others down with us, or help them in turn?

.....

Because, really, what are we here for? What is our purpose?

Life is short. Even if we live to be 100 years old, that is a mere drop in the history of the earth. 

.....

If we only knew half of the things God has done for us this week alone, maybe we would look at things differently. 

Perhaps we CAN look at things differently. 

.....

So let me encourage you. 

God has a plan for you. Even when it seems impossible, if we step out in faith He makes it possible. 

If you only knew some of the ways God has moved around you, maybe you could have the courage to step out. 

.....

One final thought. 

I'm not asking you to lie when people ask how you are doing. 

I am asking you to try and be able to say "I'm blessed" truthfully, and rely on those blessings -on God - to both carry you through and to encourage others as we take our journey through life.

Because He is able. He is willing. Are we willing?

Everyone home schools

Wait, what? Let me repeat that. 

Everyone

Home

Schools

Yes, even you who send your children to private or public school. You homeschool your children also. Just, differently than we who keep our children home. 

Deuteronomy 6:7-9

Let me back up a bit. 

We've finished seven weeks of homeschool. Since my oldest is just beginning, it's been a bit laid back. Ha, in fact, so laid back that I have to remind myself that we should "do school" at some point during the day. Through this time of trying to find what works for us, I have learned things. 

Starting off, we have finally settled into a genuine routine- that will shift some as weeks progress as we rejoin my littlest ones library group, etc..., but not too much. This routine has taken me time to figure out, because I want them to see me doing things I want them to learn to do. 

Every day we are home all day is the same. After the hustle of breakfast (yes, I cook breakfast daily for my family) and Daddy leaves for work, I sit down at the table with my Bible, notebook, and coffee. The girls either go to their room and play or color at the other end of the table. 

After I get done, we do some chores. Laundry, cleaning a room, whatever. I usually introduce/review some memory work while we do this. 

Next, we read. "We" usually being me reading to my children, but every once in a while I convince my older child to read something. I will read for... I don't know, until they lose interest or I lose feeling in my backside from sitting on the floor with them on my lap. We read stories, poems, etc. I like to read the Bible to them also, but don't do that every day (like I should).

Then, more play time.  As I prep for lunch, I like to have my school-age child sit and "do school". Math, writing/spelling, and the like. She is really good at writing her numbers and alphabet, so we are teaching her to spell her name, address, and the names of her family. Math is skip counting along with addition/subtraction from 0-19. We are working on phonics, but that requires me to be much more hands on. 

So, as I get lunch together, she knocks out one of the above mentioned subjects. 

Lunch, play, read again, nap. 

After nap, we have a snack and do more "school". I make dinner, Daddy comes home, and we never know what will happen next. 

So, why do I say that every person homeschool their child, then go off topic by telling you our schedule?

Because in figuring out a schedule, I remembered that my actions and the things I say are sometimes not the same. 

I am reminded that she learns from the way I behave, from the things I make a priority, from my actions and reactions. 

I think about the things I learned from my parents and their every day life. Things I didn't think about until after I got married, or after my first was born, or even until just this past year. Things they taught me by how they behaved. Even though they sent me to school to learn, life at home taught me about.... life. 

Back to Deuteronomy 6:7-9

"7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates."

My daily life, how I live, is teaching my children more than my words and planned lessons. 

Your daily life and actions teach your children so very much. 

See, I have her memorize Bible verses and stories and I explain them to her. Yet, if I don't also study, read, and memorize the Bible then she is learning that talking religiously is enough. I would be teaching her a falsehood by my actions. 

I also let her know I am learning with her. Some of what she learns I know, but I haven't been good at memorizing in the past and am working on changing that. 

Because I want her to learn that learning never has to stop. 

When we walk around our yard, and my little one reaches for my hand... I've learned to take it. Yes, I want her to grow and be able to take those hills on her own like her big sister, but I also want her to know that I am there to help her if she needs it. I want her to see it, her sister to see that I am there. 

• If my older one wants to hold my hand, I've learned to say yes to that as well. How much longer is she going to want to hold my hand? 

 Ah, the conundrum of parenting. Parenting done right is working yourself out of a job. 

Everyone teaches at home. If you send your child to school, you are teaching your child. Perhaps you are teaching them that what the teachers say is right - or that it isn't. You teach your child about authority, respect/disrespect, who to believe and trust. 

Honestly, if you send your child to public school, I pray God blesses you with figuring out the right balance of teaching Biblical principles, standing up for truth without being disrespectful, and all the other stuff you have to balance in allowing a secular system to teach your children facts. I don't see how you do it. 

But back to what I know you teach at home. 

You teach them how to believe in themselves. If you have low self esteem and show it, no matter what you say to your child they will learn from you. Trust me. 

You teach them how to make a family work (or how it doesn't work).

Relationships, faith, lifestyle, hobbies, work ethic, values.... these are taught at home. 

They are also taught in the public scene as well. 

Which is part of why I personally choose to homeschool. My child learns from my husband and I what values we believe to be most important. When they enter the public scene, they enter it with our guidance so they can learn how to properly handle the tough things they will face. 

Call me overprotective if you want. I don't believe that life has to be taught by the sink-or-swim method. It my come to that one day when my children are older, but they are young. 

I want to instill in their hearts and minds what is important. I want to back it up with how I live out my days. I want them to see me, imperfect but trying, and realize it is never to late to get things right. Better sooner than later, but never too late. 

Because everyone schools their children at home. I just also teach the intellectual "facts".

You are the parents. They learn from you, like it or not.